


Ghost of You

by BABlESEOK



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Denial, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Sad with a Happy Ending, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-22
Updated: 2019-03-22
Packaged: 2019-11-27 23:51:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18200669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BABlESEOK/pseuds/BABlESEOK
Summary: so i drown it outlike i always dodancing through our housewith the ghost of youand i'll chase it downwith a shot of truththat my feet don't dancelike they didwith you





	Ghost of You

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by ghost of you by 5 seconds of summer
> 
> -
> 
> this is sad, but it ends happy ok dont hate me ily
> 
> also, i know its been forever! but i'll update soy iced latte by tuesday! Thank you so much for being patient with me my angels xx
> 
> enjoy!

_ “Jooheon?” Kihyun calls out as he hung his jacket on the back of the chair, taking off his shoes and making sure to put them on the rack before he ventured into the kitchen. “Jooheon?” he calls out again, but there was no answer. He smiles when he noticed his boyfriend sitting on the couch, eyes staring ahead of him. “Hey. Didn't you hear me calling you?” he asks, sitting beside Jooheon. Jooheon looks startled, but he relaxes quickly when he realizes it's only Kihyun. “Sorry, I was just thinking. Glad to see you. Could use some time out of my head.” Jooheon says, smiling as he leans over to kiss Kihyun lightly. “Why, what's wrong?” Kihyun asks worriedly, leaning back to see Jooheon's face clearer.  _

 

_ Jooheon sighs heavily and reaches for a bottle of jack sitting on the coffee table that Kihyun hadn't even noticed. “Jooheon.” he says softly, frowning. Jooheon ignores him, know his boyfriend won't stop him. “It's just been a bad couple of days. You didn't say anything when you left, I didn't know when you were coming back.” he says, the bitterness in his tone causing Kihyun to flinch. _

 

_ Kihyun's voice is barely audible as he speaks. “Honey, I told you. I'll be here until you’re ready for me to leave.”  _

 

_ Jooheon sighs again, taking a long swig from the bottle, hissing as it goes down. “How was your day?” he asks then, trying to move onto a cheerier topic. “Ah, you know, same as always. Never really changes.” Kihyun says. Jooheon nods, understanding. “I miss you when you're gone, Ki.” he says softly, and Kihyun looks away. “It's not good for me to be here all the time, Honey. You know that, don't you?” he asks, running a hand through Jooheon's hair. The younger boy leans into the touch, eyes closing. “I know. But I need you here.”  _

 

_ A knock on the door startles Jooheon and he almost falls off the couch, but he thinks the sound of Kihyun's laughter was worth it. Jooheon opens the door and blinks in surprise when he sees his best friends standing there. “What are you guys doing here?” he asks, not moving from the doorway until Changkyun pushes past him with a roll of his eyes. “We're going out.” Hyungwon says, closing the door once Minhyuk has gone inside. Jooheon scoffs. “Yeah, no thanks. You guys go without me. I'm staying in tonight.” he replies, turning to look at Kihyun, but his boyfriend has disappeared. Jooheon thinks he's probably hiding out in the bedroom.  _

 

_ “Jooheon. Please come out with us. We haven't spent time together in ages.” Minhyuk begs, grasping onto Jooheon's arm. Jooheon frowns, opening his mouth to dispute Minhyuk's words, but he realizes his friend is right. “It hasn't been that long.” he says weakly, sitting on the couch again. Hyungwon and Changkyun exchange a glance, and Jooheon pretends not to notice. “Jooheon, please. Minhyuk hasn't shut up about missing you in the last like month and a half.” Hyungwon says, and Minhyuk slaps him, the tips of his ears red. Jooheon comments on how cute it is, and Minhyuk blushes harder.  _

 

_ “I’ll be right back.” Jooheon says, walking into his bedroom, closing the door behind himself. “Hey.” Kihyun says, looking up from where he's looking at the picture of the five of them on Jooheon's bedside table. They're all in different states of chaotic laughter, and Jooheon holds Kihyun close by the waist. “What are you thinking?” Jooheon asks softly, sitting on the floor in front of Kihyun. Kihyun is quiet for a long time, but Jooheon is patient, waits for his boyfriend to speak.  _

 

_ “Jooheon. You should go with them. It will be good for you.” he finally says. His voice is shaky, and when he looks up, his eyes are watery, and Jooheon's heart is breaking all over again. “But won't you be lonely? You could come with us.” Jooheon says, reaching out for Kihyun's hands. Kihyun's smile is the saddest thing Jooheon's ever seen, and he's having trouble breathing now, and wow, he didn't notice he was crying. “I don't think Minhyuk wants to share you.” Kihyun says, a soft laugh following. “What?” Jooheon asks, brow furrowing in confusion. _

 

_ “He's hopelessly in love with you, Honey.” Kihyun says, wiping his tears as he laughs at Jooheon's shocked reaction. “Wha-- no. That's impossible.” he says, scrambling to his feet. “It's very possible, my love. He's in love with you. And I think -- if you let yourself -- you could love him, too.” Kihyun replies. Jooheon's pacing now, and Kihyun is watching calmly, letting Jooheon work through it. Finally, Jooheon calms down a little. “It -- it doesn't matter. I have you, Ki.” he says, and Kihyun motions for Jooheon to sit beside him.  _

 

_ “Jooheon. Maybe it's time for you to let me go. To move on. Minhyuk loves you so much. You deserve to have that.” he says, voice quiet. Jooheon’s lip is quivering, and he's trying so hard not to cry. “But -- don't  _ you  _ love me, Ki?” his voice breaks and he internally scolds himself. “Of course, Honey. And I always  _ always  _ will. But --” he pauses, bites his lip, opens his mouth to speak, but Jooheon cuts him off. “Don't say it.” Jooheon is pleading now, and it sounds desperate, it sounds  _ broken. 

 

_ He gets up and leaves the room, and is greeted with three stares as he walks out, varying degrees of pity and judgment between the three of them. “Who were you talking to?” Changkyun asks coldly, and Jooheon doesn't flinch at his tone. “Guys, I don't think I'm going to go out with you tonight.” he says. “Goddammit, Jooheon! Who the hell were you talking to?” Changkyun explodes, and this time everyone flinches.  _

 

_ Steeling himself, Jooheon speaks. “I was talking to Kihyun.” his voice is firm, and the look in his eyes dares them to say something. But they love him, they're his best friends, and it's their job to say something, isn't it? Minhyuk is wide-eyed, tears falling rapidly. Changkyun isn't even looking at him anymore. _

 

_ “He’s dead, Jooheon.” Hyungwon says blankly, and this time Jooheon flinches as if he's been shot. “He's been dead for two months. He isn't coming back. We've been trying to give you space, thought it might help you heal. But you're just -- you're lying to yourself.” Jooheon is frozen in place, eyes wide. He feels a touch on his arm and he turns slightly so see Kihyun.  _

 

_ “He's right, Honey. You know he's right. You need to let me go.” he says, and Jooheon realizes he's faded, and blurry, and he can't actually feel Kihyun's hand on his arm anymore. “I can't. Kihyun, please, not yet. I’m not ready.” he pleads. Minhyuk is full-on sobbing now, and Hyungwon holds him close, but Jooheon sees none of this as he falls to his knees. “Kihyun, I'm not strong enough to do this without you.  _ Please.  _ I need you with me. I can't do it alone.” Kihyun smiles. “Look around you, Honey. You're not alone. You never were.” _

 

_ Now Jooheon's babbling, and tears and snot mix on his face as he cries and cries and cries, all of the tears he hasn't shed in the last two months. When he runs out of tears, he doesn't move from the floor, dry sobs wracking his body. He's barely aware of Changkyun lifting him to the couch, and Hyungwon forcing food and water down his throat. He's basically catatonic, but he's not alone, and he's never been so grateful.  _

 

**SIX MONTHS LATER**

 

“Jooheon, hurry up, we're going to miss the previews!” Minhyuk huffs from where he's standing by the door. “Hyungwon and the new boyfriend are already in the car, could you ever be on time for anything?” Jooheon steps out of the bathroom then, and Minhyuk stops talking. “Y-you look great, Honey.” he stammers, tips of his ears reddening, and Jooheon grins. “You too, Minnie. Let's get going, alright?” 

 

Hyungwon and his new boyfriend Hoseok are sitting in the front, so Jooheon and Minhyuk squeeze into the back of Hyungwon's Mini Cooper. “Thanks for saving me from third-wheeling, Honey.” Minhyuk says as they start driving. “We're not even that bad!” Hoseok says with a pout, and Hyungwon laughs. “It was my pleasure, Min.” Jooheon replies, reaching over to squeeze the older man's hand. 

 

Once at the movie theater, Jooheon insists on paying for the tickets and the snacks, ignoring Minhyuk's protests, but he manages to sneakily slip his card to the girl working the counter, and Minhyuk grumbles his thank you, and Jooheon is happy. Really, truly, happy, for the first time in much too long. They make their way inside, and Jooheon and Minhyuk make their way to the very top row, while Hyungwon and Hoseok sit closer to the middle because Hyungwon forgot his contacts and can barely see the screen. 

 

“Seriously. Thanks for coming with me.” Minhyuk says, pushing his hair out of his eyes. It's getting long, and he's constantly messing with it; Jooheon loves it. It suits him well. “I told you, it was my pleasure. I'm happy to be here with you.” he replies, handing the popcorn to the other man. Minhyuk stares for a moment, before turning his attention back to the screen. 

 

Halfway through the movie, Jooheon finds himself getting distracted watching Minhyuk's reactions to what's happening on the screen. The other man is so animated, eyes shining with excitement or fear or happiness depending on the scene. He's so beautiful, so  _ alive,  _ and Jooheon realizes with a start that he's fallen. “Min,” he breathes, and the words stick in his throat when the other man looks at him. “Yeah, Honey?” Minhyuk asks softly, face open and bright. Jooheon is silent for a moment, before he clears his throat, brows furrowing. “Can I kiss you?” he asks. And now it feels like all the air has been sucked out of the room, like he can hardly breathe. He distracts himself from the lack of an answer by watching the shadows from the screen play over Minhyuk's face. And then Minhyuk speaks with a small, huffed laugh. “I thought you'd never ask.”

 

They don't watch the rest of the movie.

**Author's Note:**

> leave me a comment uwu x


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